15 Steps to Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You

Spiritual development depends on our ability to forgive others.

Even if it was traumatic, the memory of someone who injured you is now just a notion or emotion you keep with you. These feelings of bitterness, rage, and hatred are sluggish, crippling forces that, if allowed to persist in your mind, will deprive you of your strength. You would experience more peace if you could let them go.

List below are 15 steps for forgiving someone who has Hurt you:

First Step: Advance to the Next Act

Your physical reality no longer contains your past mistakes and all of your wounds. Keep them out of your head so they don't cloud the present. Your life is structured like multiple acts in a play. The roles that some of the characters play are brief, while others have considerably larger ones. There are some bad guys and some good guys. However, everyone of them is essential; otherwise, they wouldn't be in the play. Accept them all, then proceed to the next act.

Second step: Regain spiritual connection

Make a new pact with yourself to constantly maintain contact with Spirit, even when it appears the most challenging. This will allow your body to develop to whatever degree of perfect harmony it was intended to. Give God your pain, and let the Spirit move through you.

Read more: What does it means to be justified by faith and what is justification?

You will start to exude a stronger energy of love and light as a result of your new understanding of reality, which combines your physical self, personality, and spiritual self with your God-connected self. Wherever you go, people will feel the glow of your God consciousness, and chaos, disorder, and all other kinds of issues will just not flourish around you. In the opening words of his well-known prayer, St. Francis asks that we "become an instrument of your peace."

Step 3: Avoid going to bed angry.

I vehemently reject using this priceless time to examine anything I do not want to have reinforced throughout the hours that I will be submerged in my subconscious mind each night as I drift off to sleep.

I make the intentional decision to imprint on my subconscious mind the idea that I am a Divine creator who is in harmony with the one consciousness. I remind myself of the I ams I have given to my imagination and keep in mind that my last awake concept of myself will rule my sleep. I only draw people to myself who are in line with my highest aspirations of myself because I am calm, content, and love.

This is my nightly practice, and I always resist the urge to dwell on any bad memories that my ego might be urging me to examine. 

I presume that sense of those "I am" words already being true in my body,  and I am aware that I am allowing myself to be programmed while I sleep because when I wake up the next morning, I am aware that I am a free agent. 

Man makes an impression on the subconscious mind while sleeping. Mr. Neville Goddard

Step 4: Shift Your Attention from Accusing Others to Recognizing Yourself

Take the attention away from individuals you are holding accountable for your inner distress whenever you are outraged over the behavior of others.

Change your focus to letting yourself to feel whatever is coming up for you; don't assign blame for your sentiments to anyone else.

Also, don't blame yourself! Allow the experience to play out and remind yourself that no one has the authority to make you uncomfortable without your permission, and that you are not willing to do so at this time.

Declare to yourself that you are ready to be with your feelings without judging them as "bad" or wanting to squelch them. You've switched to self-mastery in this way. It's critical to set aside judgment and even your desire to comprehend others in favor of understanding oneself.

You can join the graceful dance of life by accepting responsibility for the way you decide to react to everything and everyone. You can see a whole new world of limitless potential for yourself by altering the way you choose to view the influence that other people have over you. You will also know right away how to forgive and let go of anything.

Step 5: Refrain from advising others what to do

Stay away from ideas and actions that involve instructing others what to do when they are perfectly capable of making their own decisions. Keep in mind that no one belongs to you in your family. Kahlil Gibran, a poet, reminds you:

Your kids are not really your kids. They are the offspring of Life's desire for itself. They don't come from you; they come through you.

It is always the case. In fact, in all of your interactions, resist the need to control. Pay attention rather than ramble. See where self-attention leads you by paying close attention to yourself whenever you have judgmental thoughts. You'll start to notice the actual Tao emerging in yourself and others when you swap an ownership mentality for one of allowing. You will no longer be irritated by people who don't act how you want them to from that point forward.

Step 6: Acquire the ability to let go and be like water

Be like water: flow wherever there is an opening, not trying to control with your forcefulness. Be more accepting to dissident views to soften your rough edges. Reduce your interference, and listen more instead of directing or telling. Try saying, "I've never thought of it before—thank you," when someone expresses their opinion. I'll give it some consideration.

You become forgiveness itself when you stop interfering and choose to flow like water—gently, quietly, and unobtrusively.

Imagine that you have the same characteristics as water. Allow your fluid, weak, yielding, soft self to enter spaces from which you were previously barred by your propensity to be solid and unyielding. Imagine yourself entering the hidden inner selves of those you are at odds with, possibly for the first time being able to understand what they are going through. Keep picturing yourself as a stream of gently flowing water and observe how your interactions with others develop.

Step 7: Own up to Your Responsibility

Never place the blame for your problems on anyone else in order to remove culpability.

It denotes your willingness to acknowledge your responsibility for your feelings, disease, victimization, or accident without feeling guilty or resentful about it.

I am responsible for having it in my life since I live with it.

If you accept responsibility for having the experience, you at least have an opportunity to accept responsibility for either letting it go or for using it to your advantage. You can either go to work to eliminate the migraine headache or the depressed mood if you're somehow (possibly unknowingly) to blame for it. Alternatively, you can figure out what the message is for you. On the other hand, if you believe that someone or something else is to blame, you will obviously have to wait till they improve before you can. And it's unlikely that will happen. So, even when peace is actually on the other side of the coin, you return home empty-handed.

Step 8: Let Resentments Go

What results in irritation and rage after a disagreement? The typical response would be a long list of reasons why the other person was wrong and their actions were unreasonable and illogical, concluding with something like, "I have a right to be upset when my [daughter, mother-in-law, ex-husband, boss, or whomever you're thinking of] speaks to me that way!"

But you must think in the opposite way if you want to live a life that is rich with the Tao. Instead than stemming from the behavior of the other person in a dispute, resentments persist and flourish because you are unwilling to put an end to the dispute by making an offer of genuine kindness, love, and forgiveness. Lao-words: Tzu's

To avoid hatred ever changing to goodwill, someone must take the risk of repaying harm with kindness. Lao Tzu

The time for calm has therefore come after all of the yelling, screaming, and threatening words have been said. Keep in mind that no storm lasts forever and that there are always seeds of peace inside every storm. There are conflicting times that call for animosity and harmony.

Step 9: Choose kindness over judgment.

According to a Chinese proverb, "If you're going to seek retribution, you'd better build two graves," your grudges will lead to your demise.

The state of the world is unchangeable. The people who act "badly" in the world are simply carrying out their duties. It can be processed however you like. You are yet another individual who adds to the pollution of fury if you are consumed with rage about all of those "issues." Instead, keep in mind that you don't need to prove others wrong or seek revenge for wrongs you've experienced.

Imagine that you learn to depersonalize what you just heard and respond with kindness if someone says anything to you that you find offensive rather than choosing to feel offended. You are ready to freely respond to whatever comes your way with the stronger, faster energies of love, peace, joy, forgiveness, and kindness. You act on your own behalf. You prefer to be kind to right.

Step 10: Test Your Giving

Before you leave a heated discussion or quarrel, try practicing giving rather than taking. Giving requires putting the ego aside. Your Tao nature seeks peace and harmony, not to win and demonstrate its supremacy by being rude and disobedient. If you follow this approach, you can virtually completely eliminate the time you spend arguing:

Wherever you are, whenever intense feelings arise within you and you become aware of your urge to "do right," silently repeat the following phrases from Saint Francis' Prayer:

If there is harm, [let me provide] forgiveness.

As Jesus instructs: Bring love to hate, light to darkness, and pardon to hurt, be a giver of forgiveness. Read these words every day to help you overcome your ego's expectations and experience life to the fullest.

Step 11: Quit looking for reasons to offend others.

When your awareness is average or lower, you spend a lot of time and effort looking for reasons to be offended.

If you're seeking for a reason to be offended, anything will serve, whether a news report, an unkind stranger, someone swearing, a sneeze, or a dark cloud.

Make the decision to stop being offended by anyone, anything, or any circumstance.

You'll discover that it's difficult to feel offended by the opinions and actions of others if you have enough faith in your own views. You'll discover that it's difficult to feel offended by the opinions and actions of others if you have enough faith in your own views.

Saying "I have power over how I'm going to feel, and I choose to be tranquil regardless of what I witness going on" by not being offended is a manner of expressing this. When you are insulted, your judgment is being exercised. When you see someone else to be dumb, insensitive, impolite, haughty, careless, or foolish, you may become irritated or offended by their actions. You might not be aware of this, but when you evaluate someone, you do not define them. You identify as someone who must evaluate others.

Step 12: Be Present Rather Than Living in the Past

When we have trouble forgiving, it's frequently because we aren't living in the moment and instead are giving the past greater weight. We spend a significant amount of time and energy mourning the passing of the golden eras as the cause of our present inability to experience happiness and fulfillment. Nobody treats others with the same respect they formerly did because "everything has changed." This is blaming the past for your inability to be happy right now.

Other species probably don't waste their time worrying about the past or the future in the present. A beaver only engages in beaver activity, and he does it as it arises. He doesn't dwell on the fact that his beaver siblings got more attention or that his father beaver left the house with a younger beaver when he was a child. Always in the now, he. God's creations may teach us a lot about how to enjoy the moment rather than using it up in wrath over the past or concern about the future. By noticing the beauty in the now, you can practice being present.

Step 13: Accept the Hard Times

There simply cannot be accidents in a universe that is an intelligent structure supported by a divine creative force. Even though it's difficult to admit it, you had to go through what you did to get to where you are now, and there is evidence that you did. Every spiritual advancement you will experience in your life will almost certainly be followed by a setback or apparent catastrophe. All of those difficult situations, mishaps, breakups, lean times, diseases, abuses, and dashed dreams were necessary. Since things occurred, you can infer that they were required to do so and cannot be changed.

From that vantage point, embrace them, then comprehend, accept, and honor them before transforming them.

Step 14: Avoid passing judgment

You will experience inner calm once you give up judging and simply observe. You'll feel better and free of the resentment's toxic energy when you have that inner peace. You'll also notice that people are lot more drawn to you as a result. Energy that is peaceful is drawn to gentle people.

If I want to be a person of love who operates from my best self, then love must be the only thing I have to offer the world. I must transmit the components of my ultimate self, which is God, and God is love, to someone I love if they choose to be something different from what my ego would desire.

Regardless of how right and virtuous my human ego could convince me that someone else's thoughts, feelings, or actions are, it is a step away from God-realization when I criticize and condemn it. And God consciousness makes it possible for my wishes to come true, so long as they are in harmony with my Source of being. I can enumerate numerous justifications for why I ought to judge and condemn another of God's children and why, damn it, I am correct. However, if I truly want to improve my own environment, I must replace these judgments with love.

Step 15: Send affection

I've spent years studying Patanjali's teachings, and he reminded us thousands of years ago that when we are steadfast—that is, when we never waver in our abstinence of thoughts of harm toward others—all living things stop feeling hostile in our presence.

I now understand that you, me, and everyone else are all human. We definitely have moments when we withdraw into judgment, criticism, and condemnation, but this is not a justification for choosing to engage in that style of communication. I can only say that when I finally understood it and sent only love to a different one of God's children whom I had been criticizing and judging, I immediately experienced an inner sense of contentment.

When you feel that someone is preventing you from experiencing joy and happiness, I implore you to send them love instead of those judgments and critiques, and to hold them in that space of love. Keep in mind that when you change the way you look at something, that something changes when you remain firm.

Conclusion 

Thank you for reading this article, it is true we get hurt from people but with this article today will change you towards such people. If you have any challenge email us.